Valentine’s Day may be looming on the horizon but as Shakespeare said, “The course of true love never did run smooth…”

Yes, from terribly timed food poisoning and beaus who won’t stop talking about their ex, to terrible poetry and misleading profile pictures, we’ve all had our share of bad dates. Don’t despair! This year, we’re determined to put a little bit of love back in your life.

We’re giving away this cute Cupid Name Necklace in shimmering marbled red pearl Perspex to one lucky Tatty Devine fan… and it could be you! Simply share your disastrous date story with us in the comments below and the one that makes us laugh the most will win this Name Necklace.

This competition is now closed. Congratulations to our winner, Ellie! We loved your entry – and definitely can imagine the cringe factor!

“I was 15 and (thought) I was super cool. One day, a really cute guy I’d liked for ages finally asked me out, so being as cool as I was (!) I casually said yes. Then, I went home and panicked about what to wear, what to say, what to do with my hair….all the usual stuff. We’d decided to go to the cinema and I’d begrudgingly agreed to let my dad pick me up outside afterwards. I might’ve told my dad the movie ended an hour later than it did (I was banking on a bag o’ chips & a goodnight kiss). This cunning plan would’ve worked had my dad not forgotten the time I’d told him and checked the cinema listings in the local paper. After the movie, as we walked down the stairs to leave, I saw my dad standing there in the foyer in an old pair of shorts, grubby SLIPPERS and an old jumper he wore around the house. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t hollered at me across the foyer in front of everyone. It was like telling the world…’the embarrassing parent belongs to her!’ Having your dad come into the cinema was seriously not cool. I mumbled goodnight to my date (no goodnight kiss for us) sat in the car in stony silence, and huffed the whole way home. Parents!”

Psst! Thinking about treating your number one admirer (aka yourself)? Discover our new jewellery here. If you’re feeling generous, pick up a pressie for your beloved from our Valentine’s collection now.

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31 Responses to Win a Valentine’s Day Name Necklace!

  1. Polly says:

    I turned up to a date in a pub in the Laines in Brighton to find a guy who looked like a cross between Viv Savage from Spinal Tap and Mick Hucknall. About 3 minutes in he started trying to find entrances to my clothing, which continued until after about half an hour I picked up my things and left.
    Disappointed.

  2. Hannah says:

    While I was living back in Australia an incredibly attractive Irish man with black hair and bright blue eyes asked me out. I said yes, but when I arrived he had already had 6 pints of Guinness (some stereotypes are true) and continued to drink all night, and then proceeded to argue loudly with the bar tender about how exactly to pour a Guinness. Then as I tried to politely put an end to it he asks me back to his dad’s boat…because that was where he was living. Thankfully I now have a man who had a land based address when we met.

  3. Vicki Prout says:

    ‘Colin and Vicki do ‘date night’: Colin turns up , 20min late, four pints to the wind. He eats some chick’n, announces he needs a poo, disappears off to the toilet. Comes back, announces he’s tired and wants to go home to bed. We leave. I bet he snores tonight. #datenightfail’ <I posted this on Facebook a few months ago, and got a lot of 'likes'. Forgot about it until I made my 'Facebook video' the other day, and what should pop again but this?! Makes me smile though….

  4. Keri Baldwin says:

    Years ago, my now-husband got tickets to see one of our favourite bands at the Albert Hall. The night started out really well and the first hour or so of the gig passed by without incident. Then my lunch came back to haunt me! I felt a few tummy cramps and didn’t know what to do, so I popped into the toilets…and, well, you don’t need details, but it was unpleasant.
    Trouble is that I was so desperate to go, I didn’t notice that the women that were chatting in the toilets were not on their way out, they were actually wives/girlfriends of the band members and they were applying make-up and getting ready to go out after the gig finished. As I was suffering, trying to make as little noise as possible (argggh TMI!), their talk went from causal “I love London” to complete silence as they realised what was going on!! I waited to walk out for what seemed like ages, but I knew I had to go out to let my husband know I hadn’t deserted him! That was the worst walk of shame of my life as none of these gorgeous women could look me in the eye as I quickly washed my hands in shame.
    Finally made it out and my hubs was dutifully waiting outside, worried by my 20 minute absence. All I could do was smile, then grimace and run back in, only to catch the stifled laughter of the women who then chose to pack up their gear and leave me in peace. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life.
    The final indignity was the cab driver refusing to take us all the way home, so he dropped us at the nearest Northern line station and I spent the 30 minute journey in agony…in a busy train carriage. Terrible, terrible.

    Hey ho, it’s a funny story and I am confident I have the special privilege of knowing I’m possibly the only person who has ever had the squits at the Royal Albert Hall!!!

    Still married though. <3

  5. Tansy says:

    The worst date I ever went on was just over a year ago on fireworks night.
    We met to watch our local fireworks display, I had made mulled wine and we sat outside the pub with sparklers. Afterwards we headed round the corner to a restaurant, half way through dinner my date got up to go to the loo. When he sat back down he told me he had invited me out so he could say he only wanted to be friends. (which is already bad enough) Even with this being the case, I decided still to see the evening out to the end. We had a few more glasses of wine in the pub and then left to go home. On the walk back, my date decided it would be a great idea for me to give him a piggyback. He made a running jump, I wasn’t ready, we both ended up head first into the pavement and I came out with a cracked open nose. Still to this day I have the scar to remind me of the worst date ever.

  6. Emma says:

    I went on a date with a guy after meeting in a cafe one evening. Our eyes had met across the room, he started conversation and gave me his number (cafe romances are real after all, sort of).

    Whilst having a drink together on our date a week later, he revealed he often liked to run around his garden with no clothes on & wasn’t a fan of showering (weirdly, he didn’t look or smell dirty).

    Later on in the night I realised my handbag had been stolen from under our table, leaving me with just my oyster card. He was terrible in a crisis and consequently left me in the rain at the nearest station to get home, with no keys, purse or phone.

    I didn’t hear from him again. I need my faith restored in cupid!

  7. Bobby says:

    About 5 years ago I went on a date with a guy I knew from the alternative club circuit, we’d been flirting for months and finally got organised to go on a date. I was sitting across from him in a booth in Frankie and Benny’s and things were going well, until we started to talk about tattoos. We started on mine, forget-me-nots on my wrist, a comic book panel on my arm etc. but things when awfully wrong when he showed me his pride and joy, a swastika on his chest, American History X style! As you can imagine I never saw him again! I didn’t return his calls and I avoided him in the clubs. It is possible that he had it in a Hindu/Buddhist vein but I didn’t want to take that chance!
    Years later I was in Paris with a girlfriend and we started chatting about bad dates. I told her this story and she said “Do you mean ?”
    “Yes!” I said
    Turned out she’d had a date with him too that also ended with the swastika reveal! That guy must have alot of first dates, and very few second ones!!

  8. Emma says:

    I went on a date with a guy after meeting in a cafe one evening. Our eyes had met across the room, he started conversation and gave me his number. (Cafe romances are real after all, sort of, actually not in this case).

    On our date about a week later he revealed he often ran around his garden with no clothes on and wasn’t fond of showering (weirdly, he didn’t appear to smell or look dirty). Shortly after this enlightening revelation I noticed my handbag had been stolen from under our table. He was terrible in a crisis and consequently left me at the station in the rain with just my oyster card.

    I didn’t hear from him again. I need my faith restored in cupid!

  9. Tara Fakhry says:

    Not a date per say but the week of our wedding my husband starting having terrible nose bleeds, due to stress finishing up work and planning etc. I was terrified that he would bleed on his suit the day of but he got through it alright. The wedding night however was spent in our hotel room, along with the best man, attempting to control the bleeding – I was on the phone to a local A&E, trying to decipher how busy they were, if we needed to attend! After some time the nose bleed stopped and I was left with a pile of sodden tissues to dispose of, the best man said he would take care of them in the bathroom. Once my hubby was asleep and the best man gone I headed to the loo to see it completely blocked!! I had to get a hanger out of the wardrobe and clear it myself – what a glamourous and practical bride!!!

  10. Nicola says:

    I got set up on a date with a good friend of a friend. He came all the way from Glasgow to Edinburgh to take me out for drinks and after downing 4-6 pints (I was on the soft drink that night) he began talking about tattoos. Now he was aware I have a fair collection of tattoos including two full sleeves and he started pointing at them in disgust very loudly exclaiming that people with tattoos were idiots and shouting all levels of obscenities. Of course we were at the bar with many big men and many ladies covered with tattoos and piercings etc I politely just let him rant away and decided best not to argue back. After he had calmed down, he went down on one knee (this was our first time ever meeting!) and proposed only if though I agreed to get laser treatment to remove all my tattoos and get a boob job…infront of the whole busy bar! I quickly pretended to run to the loo and left him to pick up the tab and find his way back to Waverley Station. I popped into a friends party on my way home and met a nice man who 3 years later became my husband :)

  11. Kate says:

    I went on a second date, some time ago. He said, “I’d like to take you out to dinner”, and we went to a local Italian.
    We were looking at the menu, and he suggested I chose the wine as I knew it bit more about it than him. I asked what he was going to have to eat, then had a look and made my decision. I told him what it was, and said, “It’s £20, I hope that’s all right?”
    “Yes”, he said, ‘well, you’re paying, so it’s fine…”

  12. Nina says:

    When I was 17, I was dating a guy from the same college as me. We had been going steady for about 3 months and had arranged to go out to eat and then back to his on the Saturday night. His parents were away for the weekend, so it was sort of unspoken, but implied that we were finally going to do the deed, if you know what I mean!!!
    Following a lovely evening out, we began to make our way up to his house, which involved walking up a grass slope. We were both trying to be very mature about things. Half-way up the slope I realised that I had just broken the heel off one of my shoes. I felt mortified, so Instead of telling him what had happened I carried on walking, pretending nothing was wrong, with one foot on tiptoe.
    The next day, I felt I had to say as it was a long way home and couldn’t make the journey in said shoes.
    He was very understanding and lent me a pair of his size 12 trainers (I am size 6).
    That was some walk of shame and was greeted with much laughter by my sisters upon my arrival.
    A night I have never forgotton!!!

  13. JANE says:

    I went on a blind date set up by my friend.I met this guy in the pub had a few drinks things were going really well.Until he said I think its about time you went home?I asked why he said he had took the liberty to pick up my bus timetable on his dinner hour that day and the last bus from the town hall was leaving in 15 minutes.Safe to say we never had a second date!!!

  14. Ruby says:

    I had been talking to a friend of a friend for a little while and we decided to meet up. I chose the cinema as I love films, and it wouldn’t be too awkward if we had nothing to talk about. I’d glammed myself up, red lippy the lot, and I thought I looked rather sassy to be honest. During the film, he leant in and kissed me… RESULT … I thought. We left the cinema and wandered round for a while chatting, saw some of his friends whilst we were there which was awkward enough as it is. Until I wandered to the toilet and noticed that my lovely glam lipstick was smeared all over my face..clown style, to make this worse it wouldn’t come off. I was horrified. To make matters worse, later that night whilst walking a gust of wind sent my skirt over my head, safe to say my Bridget Jones knickers were not a good choice. I was certain that my not so sophisticated antics was enough to scare him off. But we’re still together now, I guess guys kinda like the Bridget inside us all ;)

  15. Laura says:

    He was a friend of a friend. I turned up at his flat to head off for a first date. He opened his front door in a blue check fleecy dressing gown (like my brother had when he was 11) and with an electronic tag on his ankle. He said, “Shall we just stay in?”. No. No we shan’t.

  16. Hayley McColl says:

    I had just started a job in a pub and had to come in to do a bit of paperwork and training. One of my colleagues was helping me out and we were getting on great so stayed for a drink. We had another. And another. He asked if I’d like to move on to somewhere else so we found a nice bar and were having a great time. I regailed him with stories of my clumsiness then excused myself to go to the loo, he joked that I should watch out for the stairs.

    Of course I then fell down the stairs.

    I landed in a heap at the bottom but managed to crawl to the loo, compose myself and crawl back up the stairs.

    I had sprained the ankle on the left side and broken a toe on the right. I had to be carried for the rest of the evening. Mortifying.

    6 and a half years later we’re still together and I still fall on my bum everywhere we go.

  17. Mhairi says:

    During a dabble with online dating, one of my best worst date stories has to be the third date I ever went on.

    We met on a website I affectionately call Go Fish, and had arranged to meet in Covent Garden.

    Anyway, so I was wondering about, blinded by the sun, when I think what was supposed to be an enthusiastic peck-on-the-cheek-cum-greet turned into me getting a fright and nearly smacking him with my Evian.

    I was also pretty tartled by his lack of height; one of my basic yet shallow requirements is that any potential beau must be at least the same height as me, and being vertically challenged myself, to come in a foot shorter than me is quite an achievement.

    Anyway, open to trying new things, and having not bottled the poor guy, we wandered around to a nearby bar and grabbed a beer.

    The date was going terribly… The conversation just wasn’t there, there was no chemistry and it was nothing short of awful.. This guy was way in my personal space (kept trying to come into that 30cm circumference around me and getting a tad overly tactile..)

    After buying him a drink back, and some more awkward conversation and avoiding being touched, and me looking for escape routes, he asked if I wanted to go on somewhere else. Which I didn’t. And unfortunately, in true me-style, I panicked when responding, and rather thanjust make my excuses like a normal person, I said the following..

    “I’m sorry, I can’t. I need to go. I need to bake a cake. Immediately.”

    And off I scarpered down The Strand all the way home.

    So there you have it, I am the worst date ever. And for the record, I did actually get asked on a second date, and was apprently difficult to read…

  18. Amina says:

    Me and my john (my date).Went on a date to this awesome restuarant.After our date I than noticed that my dress zipper was open the whole eving

  19. Georgie Ma says:

    A few years ago, I went to a pub in Clapham Common with some friends. I got chatting to the barman and had a few flirts over the bar. We exchanged numbers and FB and kept in touch for a few weeks. Then one day, we arranged to meet up. Now I’m only 5″2 but when we met, he was actually smaller than me. How did that happen? Ahhhh…… The bar was a raised platform so the bartenders would always a foot taller than usual. I was gutted to say the least. He was a nice guy but suffered little man syndrome.

  20. Emily says:

    I spent a day with a very handsome guy and part of the day involved going to Tesco. Romantic, huh. It wasn’t too bad until we came to leave and the alarms went off as I walked out. The security guards made me unpack all my shopping, apologise to the customer service staff for disturbing them and then walk through the shop door repeatedly, to prove it was just my odd body making the alarm go off.

    To make matters worse, we went to the cinema and discovered my instructions on how to get there were totally wrong. We had nothing in common so conversation was extremely awkward. Banged my head getting out of the car and landed face first on the pavement. Needless to say there wasn’t a second day out together.

  21. MissyS. says:

    I spat a big mouthful of water all over our table – and our chinese meal – as I saw my date casually eating his rice grain by grain with his chopsticks.
    Not Ladylike, not classy, he was not impressed.
    For extra points, the only time a guy ever bought me a drink from across the bar was a snake bite (hum) at the not very romantic Intrepid Fox in London (back in the Wardour street days).
    I clearly need help and a good luck charm here! Cupid, will you save me?

  22. Helen says:

    Asan ex of mine had kindly decided to treat me to a London mini break for my birthday so that we could go and watch The Lion King in the west end. Most things went wrong and by the time we reached the theatre only to find someone had taken our seats enough was definitely enough. I approached the people in our seats and loudly announced that they would need to move. When they said they were in the right place I asked to see their tickets which they politely passed over to me. Sure enough they were printed with our seat numbers on!
    I took out our seat tickets to compare and passed theirs back advising I would go and ask the assistant.
    Sheepishly I then marched my ex to the box office to admit he had got the date of my birthday wrong and booked the tickets for the wrong day! Thankfully we were staying the next night too and they allowed us to come back the following(ticketed) night to watch the show in our own seats!

  23. Francesca says:

    I went on a date with a friend of a friend after that friend gave him my number. I’d met him at her birthday and he seemed quite fun and we’d text and seemed to have a fair amount in common. We arranged to meet near Oxford street and I been nervous all day so arrived a little early only to find he was actually at Holbon and expected me to meet him there. I hoped on a bus in my heels and after a few wrong terms managed to find him. He then had a few digs about my lateness which nearly made me leave but I reminded myself he was a friend if a friends and I should not be so snappy. He then announced he was talking me to weather spoons. Not sure if you’ve been to the one in Holbon but it’s a dump so I was hugely overdressed, I must have looked disappointed as he then asked if I was too much if a snob to go there, not wanting to appear like that off we went. He bought me a drink, the highlight of the night, and we walked over to perch on the end of a table, just as one of the women at that table realised her bag had been stolen. He then proceeded to talk at the top of his voice about himself and his job and how great he was doing. He then mentioned he’d had a drink before we met and it dawned on me he was actually pretty drunk… He continued to boast about how much money he earnt and went on to say if he got the job he’d been for that day he was going to go out and get off his face in a rather illegal fashion… About an hour of me not getting a word in he suggested we go eat, not wanting to appear rude I agreed to go to this ‘little pizzaria’ he knew, he was a friend if a friend so I decided to give him a final chance. Proceed to the tube and him making racist remark far too loudly whilst I tried to pretend not to know him, the pizzeria turned out to actually be a pizza take away with standing room where he stuffed his face with a large pizza with garlic dip. I announced I was going home and started to get up to go to my tube when he started to moan that he guessed he better walk me to the tube. Despite my protests he walked me back, staggered forward for a garlic drunken kiss which I managed to avoid and then I bolted. I had to ignore his message for a while before he got the hint. And I’ve never forgiven my friend for her recommendation!

  24. Madeleine says:

    II went ONIi went mad on Internet dating for a few hazy weeks. I took to texting a friend my location and initial verdicts on my dates.
    I was getting a little jaded about the whole experience when I met a man who was nothing like his profile. So I text my friend, “Mr Tonight is a foot shorter than advertised, and talks like Lily Savage.”
    He returned from the bar and checked his phone. The confused look on his face was enough for me to twig who I’d texted! I made my excuses and made a sharp exit.

  25. Ellie says:

    I was 15 and (thought) I was super cool. One day, a really cute guy I’d liked for ages finally asked me out, so being as cool as I was (!) I casually said yes. Then, I went home and panicked about what to wear, what to say, what to do with my hair….all the usual stuff. We’d decided to go to the cinema and I’d begrudgingly agreed to let my dad pick me up outside afterwards. I might’ve told my dad the movie ended an hour later than it did (I was banking on a bag o’ chips & a goodnight kiss). This cunning plan would’ve worked had my dad not forgotten the time I’d told him and checked the cinema listings in the local paper. After the movie, as we walked down the stairs to leave, I saw my dad standing there in the foyer in an old pair of shorts, grubby SLIPPERS and an old jumper he wore around the house. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t hollered at me across the foyer in front of everyone. It was like telling the world…’the embarrassing parent belongs to her!’ Having your dad come into the cinema was seriously not cool. I mumbled goodnight to my date (no goodnight kiss for us) sat in the car in stony silence, and huffed the whole way home. Parents!

  26. Emily Clark says:

    I went out for a nice meal with my date and everything was going swimmingly..until, that is, we left the restaurant, and he wasn’t feeling too well.

    It ended with him throwing up whilst sitting next to me, and trying to tell me to look the other way at the same time.

    Needless to say we didn’t meet up again..

  27. Victoria N says:

    Ten years ago, I was set up on a date with a friend of a friend. However I wasn’t overly enthusiastic about going along so had a couple of drinks beforehand to get me in the mood. A few hours later, I had spilt a bottle of Metz down my top (remember this, one of the original alcopops!) and decided that we should both dance on a table in a late night bar, which resulted in us both falling off and a trip to A&E for a broken bone in my foot! Strangely enough, we still decided we wanted to meet up again, and now 10 years on, we are married with a baby daughter!

  28. Hollie says:

    After aafter moving to London, I decided to give Internet dating a try. My profile was quite honest, listing me as a divorced Labour voter, 5 foot 3, atheist who likes a nice steak. I got chatting to a nice guy who invited me to the V and A museum for a lunch date. First of all, he was much shorter than I expected. 5 foot 3, to be exact. Our initial conversation was about what he did in his spare time. Volunteer work for his local church. We then wandered around the museum, which had a Private Eye exhibition. My joke about a picture of Margaret Thatcher was met with the seaward revelation that he was in fact a Tory. Over lunch I discovered he was a vegetarian. None of these things directly put me off until he casually mentioned that he would never be able to introduce me to his family, because they were Catholic and didn’t agree with divorce…

  29. Jenifer says:

    I met someone through a friend at a party & he asked if I’d like to go out for a drink.

    I met him a week or so later and things were going fine. He was from Newcastle so in order to impress him I rolled off all things Tyne I knew or had heard of with mentions of Alan Sheerer and Byker Grove – I then went on to explain about the ‘Christ The Redeemer’ statue thats a big landmark in Newcastle! Needless to say we never see each other again & I’ve learnt never to talk geography on dates! Oops…!

  30. kayleigh dudley says:

    my most disastrous was when my date leaned it to get a little closer and knocked my drink down my front! killed the moment instantly doh

  31. jen jackson says:

    I had a guy contact me on facebook and said he had seen me out with a mutual friend and would like to take me out. I agreed and met him for a drink. After the first drink, he was asking me how long i had worked in Leeds for, i told him i didnt work in Leeds. It turns out, he thought i was my twin sister!!! I never saw him again – neither did my Twin!

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