Women We Watch: Ruby Rare
Alice Barnes, 16 November 2020
Grab a pen and paper, and get ready to learn something sexy! Artist, body-positivity advocate and lover of all things pink, Ruby Rare is taking us back to school to teach us about all the things we really wanted to know about. Forget Maths class, it’s all about Sex Ed. Pssst, that’s the name of Ruby’s NEW book, let’s hear more about it...
Hey Ruby! Can you sum up what you do in five words?
Curious, inclusive, silly, sexy, PINK!
Curious, inclusive, silly, sexy, PINK!
What inspired you to write Sex Ed?
I come from a sexual health background working with young people, but when I started running workshops for adults I realised they were asking the same questions I hear from teenagers! The vast majority of us either had no sex ed as younger people, or it was crap, which massively impacts our attitudes to and understandings of sex throughout our lives. I wanted to write this book as an antidote to all that crap sex ed.
I come from a sexual health background working with young people, but when I started running workshops for adults I realised they were asking the same questions I hear from teenagers! The vast majority of us either had no sex ed as younger people, or it was crap, which massively impacts our attitudes to and understandings of sex throughout our lives. I wanted to write this book as an antidote to all that crap sex ed.
And as a queer person, it’s still hard to find sex education that includes and caters to the kind of sex I’m interested in. I want this book to be a space where everyone - regardless of gender, sexuality, or sexual preferences - will read something that speaks to them, and will take away a more curious and joyful attitude to sex.
We definitely can’t wait to learn about all things sex! How did you decide on the book title?
To be honest, I just wanted something really clear, so people knew what they were getting into. Plus there is something so satisfying about bringing out a book that has SEX in massive gold writing on the cover - it starts the conversation before you even open it!
To be honest, I just wanted something really clear, so people knew what they were getting into. Plus there is something so satisfying about bringing out a book that has SEX in massive gold writing on the cover - it starts the conversation before you even open it!
What is the best lesson people can learn from your book?
We are handed so many rules and expectations of what sex ‘should’ look like, and this book encourages you to break away from that and have sex in a way that truly feels right for you. There’s no such thing as normal - our bodies, desires, and the ways we want to have sex all differ vastly, and rather than feeling shame about that, it’s cause for celebration!
We are handed so many rules and expectations of what sex ‘should’ look like, and this book encourages you to break away from that and have sex in a way that truly feels right for you. There’s no such thing as normal - our bodies, desires, and the ways we want to have sex all differ vastly, and rather than feeling shame about that, it’s cause for celebration!
We love the illustrations in the book! How did you collaborate with Sofie Birkin on these?
Aren’t they incredible?! I’m so grateful to Sofie, she brought the book to life. From the start we wanted to make sure the illustrations were not only depicting a broad range of bodies, races, abilities and activities, but we wanted to show them having a really fun sexy time. I basically wanted people to get a bit turned on while they were reading, because the illustrations are so luscious, and I think we made that happen! Sofie included so many illustrations of jelly in the book (which I have a bit of a thing for), and there’s a sexy poached egg in there for her - I really feel the book reflects both our playful attitudes to sex.
Aren’t they incredible?! I’m so grateful to Sofie, she brought the book to life. From the start we wanted to make sure the illustrations were not only depicting a broad range of bodies, races, abilities and activities, but we wanted to show them having a really fun sexy time. I basically wanted people to get a bit turned on while they were reading, because the illustrations are so luscious, and I think we made that happen! Sofie included so many illustrations of jelly in the book (which I have a bit of a thing for), and there’s a sexy poached egg in there for her - I really feel the book reflects both our playful attitudes to sex.
There’s nothing sexier than a poached egg!
On your Instagram you are very open to talking about ‘taboo’ topics from masturbation to periods to self love, why is it so important for you to share these messages?
I just think it’s ridiculous these topics are still so taboo! They’re things that so many of us experience, and so they’re worth talking about. And by discussing them openly and honestly, I hope I’m shedding some of those layers of shame that have been built up around them for my audience.
I just think it’s ridiculous these topics are still so taboo! They’re things that so many of us experience, and so they’re worth talking about. And by discussing them openly and honestly, I hope I’m shedding some of those layers of shame that have been built up around them for my audience.
You run creative empowerment workshops with Body Love Sketch Club, what made you start this up?
Rosy Pendlebaby (@thepandlebaby) and I have been friends for years, and our conversations kept coming back to how life modelling and life drawing transformed our attitudes to our bodies, as well as our art. So Body Love Sketch Club is a way of us creating a celebratory space for others to experience this for themselves - by drawing and posing if they fancy it!
Rosy Pendlebaby (@thepandlebaby) and I have been friends for years, and our conversations kept coming back to how life modelling and life drawing transformed our attitudes to our bodies, as well as our art. So Body Love Sketch Club is a way of us creating a celebratory space for others to experience this for themselves - by drawing and posing if they fancy it!
What is something you do if you need a boost of body positivity?
I whip my clothes off, put on Scissor Sisters, and have a 10 minute disco! There’s nothing like a cheeky naked dance to make me feel fully connected to my body, and when you’re feeling grateful for your body it leaves far less space for negative thoughts.
I whip my clothes off, put on Scissor Sisters, and have a 10 minute disco! There’s nothing like a cheeky naked dance to make me feel fully connected to my body, and when you’re feeling grateful for your body it leaves far less space for negative thoughts.
Going to try that for sure! Are you working on anything exciting for the future?
There may be a podcast on it’s way! And we’re already chatting about how Sex Ed 2 would work…
There may be a podcast on it’s way! And we’re already chatting about how Sex Ed 2 would work…
Ooooh, sounds exciting!
I think we have a little time for some quick fire questions…
Three inspirational females we should follow on IG?
@__rukiat, @stephanie_sarley, and @ourtransitionallife
@__rukiat, @stephanie_sarley, and @ourtransitionallife
Favorite album?
If I’m trying to be cool, something by David Byrne. But in reality it’s still the OG Spice Girls album.
If I’m trying to be cool, something by David Byrne. But in reality it’s still the OG Spice Girls album.
Best hair colour you’ve had?
Pink, obvs. Although my hairdresser did make me look like a tequila sunrise once, that was incredible.
Pink, obvs. Although my hairdresser did make me look like a tequila sunrise once, that was incredible.
Sex toy of choice?
I’m legally married to my Doxy magic wand.
I’m legally married to my Doxy magic wand.
Earrings or necklaces?
Big chunky earrings, always!
Big chunky earrings, always!
Thank you for chatting with us, Ruby! Head over to our Instagram for a chance to WIN a copy of Sex Ed and a Personalised Name Necklace designed by Ruby.
